Some of my writings from the past. ~2~

To feel this way

Everything is changing so fast

As I grow and get bigger

I feel you and hear your heartbeat

At first I don’t know how to feel

I feel nothing for a while

Maybe I’m just holding myself back

So soon you became apart of me

I’m not sure what to do

I’m doing all I can right now

I promise I will make the right choice

I want you to have all the things I didn’t have

But Soon I will smile and hold you in my arms

You will be so important to me I won’t ever let you go

I will be all I can be

I will protect you and love you

And I will always listen to you when you wanna talk

I won’t ever judge you or abuse you

I will love you with all my heart

I will be all I can be and support you no matter what

I will be a big part of your life

because I’m your mommy



Bound


I hold up a barrier that is bound to be broken but won’t

I don’t need anyone around me

I fear being alone but welcome it at the same time

I hate all the lies and the judgment

I hate those who critize me

I’m the nicest person

And a bitch at the same time

I wear my heart on my sleeve

While I’m tearing yours apart

I’m tired of being like them

I won’t ever fit in

Cause I live for no one but me now

This world is full of hate and judgment

It will never change because people will always be blind

There is no room for love and compromise

In this world that will never change





Incomplete
Why is it that I lose all confidence?.. Why is it that I feel so inferior? When she post a new photo or a new status.. I have everything I’ve ever wanted.. Yet I still feel like I haven’t won. I feel so incomplete.. Like your settling just for me..

Because what you want is out of reach. To everybody else I feel like one of a kind..

To you I feel I’m not good enough. I feel so incomplete.. Like there’s always secrets I don’t know.. That your hiding things and won’t let go. My love for you always grows.. But I feel your love for me always fades. I feel there’s more to you that I never knew.. And that space she holds in your heart.. I don’t think I will ever be able to fill. Is this just me being insecure.. Or is this the truth.. I would never ask.. For I don’t think I could take the truth.. Even if you did tell it.